This primer is for those who are curious about the practice of meditation, for those who have a regular practice, and for those who have struggled with it as well.
Most of what we know about group meditation focuses upon a guided visualization, as a teacher attempts to recreate a genuine experience that she or he has experienced for those who are participating in the group meditation. This is a valid transmission technique. In contrast, this primer will focus upon our individual practice.
Every teacher I know recommends developing a morning practice. This is because once the day starts in earnest, it is difficult to quiet the mind enough to meditate. But it can be done, and following the steps of this tutorial may make it easier.
If you desire to establish a daily practice, it is extremely helpful to develop rituals around your practice.
Choose the same time everyday.
Set aside a space for your practice that is specifically for meditation. It can be as small as a cushion on the floor. Declutter the space, and make it beautiful. If you have space for a small shelf, place a candle (in a fireproof container) on it, a flower, a beautiful stone or leaf, or a piece of inspirational art. Don't just sit up in bed!
Decide how long you would like to spend in your practice (15 minutes is a perfectly adequate time period for a beginner), and set a timer on your phone. Now you are free from the distraction of the clock.
When you are tempted to skip your practice, tell yourself, "What else am I going to do with this 15 minutes? What is more valuable than this?"
Maintain silence in your practice, and if possible between awakening and your practice. Tell your sleeping partner your intention. "I'd like to try not speaking in the mornings until after my meditation." This sometimes creates tension with one's partner. One can compromise, with a simple, "Good Morning" and a kiss or other physical contact, but avoid in depth discussions. "I see that is important to you/ us, and I will be happy to talk about it with you in 15 minutes, after my meditation. Then I can give you/ the topic my full attention."
There are three aspects to meditation. The body, the breath, and the mind.
The first step, whatever your particular style of meditation, is to settle the body. A brisk morning walk to the temple or even around the block. Or a mindful practice of asana, tai chi, qi qong.
When entering the temple, let the space of the temple fill you from the inside out. Even as you are choosing your cushion, your practice begins.
Your cushion should be quite firm, and high enough off the floor so that you can sit cross legged with your knees on the ground. This will permit your back to lengthen and relax. If you are uncomfortable, you may need coaching on position with an experienced meditator.
You may also try meditating with a kneeling bench, a backjack, a hard chair, or lying on the floor with a cushion under your knees.
Once you have found your seat, and settled into it, begin a progressive relaxation exercise. On the inbreath, envision the top of your scalp, and on the exhalation, consciously relax it.
With the next inhalation, bring your attention to the forehead, and permit it to soften as you exhale.
Do this for the entire body, taking one or two breaths in each area, and paying special attention to the tongue and jaw, and to the pelvis, where we typically hold a great deal of tension.
Now the body is ready for meditation. Turn your attention to the breath, simply observe the breath as it enters the body and as it leaves. Let the breath fill your body and let your exhalation fill all the space around you. Breathe all of life in, and exhale into all of life. Experience the connectedness of self with all of creation, and all of creation with the self.
Right about now, the mind will begin kicking up a scene. The mind likes to be in charge! So, the mind will invoke all kinds of titalating images and thoughts, from a disagreement with a colleague, to a childhood injury, to what's for breakfast, to the addition you are building on your house, and everything in between.
We let these thoughts pass through us without giving them any attention. They become like clouds on the sky, drifting through our conscious landscapes but not commanding our attention. We say to the mind, "Yes, you are very interesting, and I will get back to you shortly. Right now, I am meditating."
This is where the practice of mantra is most helpful. Still maintaining silence, we begin to replace our mind's chaotic thoughts with specific sounds. One can choose to focus upon SO on the inhalation, and HUM on the exhalation. If you do it now, you will perhaps appreciate how the sounds closely approximate the sounds of respiration. SO, HUM. "I am that." Breathing in SO, breathing out HUM.
So the stages of meditation are three,
First attend to the body. Then become aware of the breath. Finally add mantra to focus the mind.
If at anytime the student becomes restless, go back to the relaxation exercises, then the breath, then mantra
At some point, you may experience a non-space, non-time transcendence, a floating or drifting if you will. This is meditation. Almost as soon as we become aware of the transcedant state, it is gone. We say, "Wow, I'm doing it!" And the observation pulls us back. Don't worry, now you have the road map and you can re-visit this unlimited timelessness whenever you like.
"I bow to the divinity in you."